Lagiacrus Vs The Mud Dargon
by Theironjaggi
Summary: The Lagiacrus friend's were killed buy the Mud Dargon!
1. Chapter 1

LAGIOCUSS VS TEH MUD DARDON!2

I don't own Monster Hunter But I want to please do not sue because I am poor so I would be sad. besides this is the best story I have ever wrote and that's saying something

Chapteer 1: te Lagiocuss fights

One dae the Lagiocuss was haeing tree wit his hunter frind. "this is gud tee. the lagiocuss saif to teh hunters "tank you he"hunter saifd " I gots if form teh villiage." juts tehn the Mud Dargon fell from the sky and landed on the hunters "ha ha ha" the Mud Dargon laughed at the lagiocuss. "Tsi is teh lasy tem you land on my friends!" teh lagiocuss said with mad to the mud dargon who is was mad at. "I will kill you!" the Lagiocuss said to teh Mud Dargon.

Aruther's nose: Chibz helpd right this storie. He poofreed my Story and I tink e did a god job

"You will have to ketch me fist!" the Mud Dargon siad with happy in voice." and he flew away really fast like mach 20 airplane. "Noooo!" the Lagiocuss yelled angryly do the Mud Dargon who flew away.

Chapeter 2: The Lagiocuss get's lost

Teh Lagiocross was really mad at the Mud Dargon who killed his hunter friends who he was friends with and he was mad at the mud dargon because he was friends with the hunters that he killed. Teh Lagicuss went to find the mud dargon se he flew (but e didn't fly at mach 20 insteed he flew at mach 1000) and he miced going buy the Muf fardons hose so e couldnt find him anyware. The Lagiocuss landed in neo york and the peple around him cheered they were happy to see the lagiocuss because he is nice to people and not mean like the mud dargon becuse the mud dargon j walks and steal cany form babes. The Mud Dargon also is a communist and hates america and he also hates cats and dogs (depending on wat you like) in fact he also hates canada and eruope and maybe Japn (if you live there) also he hates money and Bill Gates or Stebe Jorbs (I don't know how theey are but they seem pretty nice)

But the Lagicuss likes all of them (even cats or dogs again dependeing on what you like) also the Lagiocuss has sex 30 tims a day but not today because he is bissy finding the mud dargon also the Lagiocuss is best friends with the amazig Joggi. He also hates communisim because it sucks and is stupid and dumb.

I hate the Mud dargon" the Lagiocuss said with blodlus to peple on the streets near him "a gay saif "you just misserd him e wet in that ally over ther to see the ludrith king" he pointed to the ally "I will go into ally without thinging abort it" the lagiocuss sweared "Fuck yeah, the plan is going as planned" the gay thought to the mud dargon

authors note: all of the gay are telepath and are witchs and communists also they hate america and they are teh mosst evli thing ever mad by our amazing god and scince.

"I must also go to the church and scinece lab to confess my sigh and cure cancer, aids, and the cold" thought the Lagiocuss because gays are evil as he walked into the bigy wide ally that had a strip joint, and a bar, and a cornur store on the courner 'stick him up you stupid little boy so I can touch you" sad teh gay. "I AM A MONSTER" SAIS D THE lAGIOCUSS NO SAID THE GAY, "YOU ARE A HOT LITTLE BOY, I WOULD NOW I AM A PRESSED AND WE TOUCH ALL THE LITTLES BOIS EW CAN LOOK AT AND IT SAYS WE MUCH IN THE BIBLE BECAUSE GOD WILL SEND US TO HECK IF WE DO NOT RAPE PEOPLE WELL" "No! yelled the lagiocuss I will kill you" he said as he ate the pressed " that was the worst gay pressed I hate eated" the lagiocuss said and farted "I will go to the mud dargon's house because he might be home" lagiocuss said ahpply and flew at mach 6

Autors nose when it comes to mach higher is slower I know this because Chibz said so and e has a IQ of 500 and I know this because he also told me. My mommi say I am Gullibale but she is stupid becaus if Chibz says so, it must be true because he is god. I know becuse he damn well said so you motherfucking donkeys how fuck you're own mothers amd I hate all of you expect the ones that belive me because you are as smart as me adn I am half as smart as Chibz (he also told me this)

The Lagiocuss maded it to the Mud Dargons house that he passed when he was going mach 1000 The mud Dargon was playing Tennis with himself in the back yard and said " I did not expect you so soon" the Mud dargon said to the lagiocuss has he scored a point and won. " I am here to avange poor bog hutters that you killed because you aer working the communist gays who are from russia and america sometimes. they are trators to me and every american and canidan and japaneseam person in the world and you must die for it and the gays will all die because we will gass them with poo gas. we will also rape to the kids so they will be all better and work for america selling cheap chinese crap."

"you cannot kill me! I have a plot device on hand and am therefore good." "Good or not you will be defeated by me, the lagiocuss!" Just then the lagiocuss shot litenight from his tail at the mud dargon and the mud dargon got hit and said "ow that hurt my nose, because you shot my nos and noew I am mad and angry!111" then he died because the plot device blue up because he left it plugged in for too long and it got hot and the radioacitve super plot core had a meltdown causeing the house to also blow up and kill some gays and a few kids who the Mud dargon was babysitting. Then there parrents and were happy because they kids sucked and everyone in new york cheered and danced and played Monster Hunter. The Lagiocuss was happy, but then he peed

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Lagiocuss get's potty trained

**Lagiocuss gets potty trained**

Chapter 1 deadly changing of doom

"Oh no!" the Lagiocuss yelled really quietly "I was doing so well, but now I have to run home and tell my mommy because I am not potty trained verry well" but first he had to go to the srote to buy more diapers because they were running low anyway. and his mom wanted him to after playing with the mud dargon. But the Lagiocuss's mom was stupid he didn't want to paly with the stuipd and dumb j-walking commie bastard that was the Mud Dargon. The mud dargon also hated the nice homo people and he hated womon because he was sexist like my father beated my mommi up and died yesterday of a heart attack and stroke and eye cancer. and he was stabbed in the neck but I don't think that killed him. Also he beat my up when I was 4 years old.

The Lagiocuss flew to the store and said "give me diapers please. I peed in mine so I need more" and the storekeeper said "get it yourself lazy monster!" the lagiocuss got sad and cried because the shoopkeepr hurted his fellings and he pooped so te shopkeepr said "fine I'll give diapers and change you for free but you need to get potty trained because you like you're 5 years old" the lagiocuss said "NO! I am really 10 years old I have been busy my whole life fight the mud dargon who I killed" shopkeeper said "oh noramly Lagiocusses learn to potty at 7 and die a year later so you're pretty old and stuipd and pretty sexy the store owner said while reaching down pants and rubbing nopples." the Lagiocuss was not happy so after he changed him for free he killed him because he also was a pedophile who had 4 year old bye and grills locked in his bassment and the Lagiocuss was really mad because of this so he went home to talk to mommu.

At home Mommy was in kitchin makeing supper for faimly because men can't cok because women cook and clean everyone knows that. Men get jobs and pay bills and fix

(authors notes I am not a sexist Lagiocuss womon just suck human womon are perfect and much more better then gays because gays are mean and women are nice and some are have really soft chest that I like to grab because it's soft and I like to bury my face in them and use it like a pillow. I have a girlfriend who's breasts are nice and soft but also firm and she let's me touch them sometimes but she won't have sex because she wants to mary me but I don't know what that means. Is it food?)

Later in space... there was a toilet falling into orbit but is was big enough to destroy the planet so the had it on the news and the Lagiocuss said "I will save earth and potty train at same time" so he flew into space to fight the toylet because he lived on earth and he wanted to live more so he could fight mroe stronger people and get a wife and have kids and die. So he shot lightning at the toylet but it didn't work so he punched it but that didn't work so he peed and pooped in it and then shot lightning and it vaporised. The Lagiocuss was happy and flew home to be happy and sad because his mom yelled and grounded him because he forgot to check the mail and do the dishes.

Chapter 2 Lagiocuss goes to Germany

It was 4 years since the Lagiocuss was potty trained he know has a kid who was potty trained and he has to go on a quest so the went to germany to meet Hitler and have him teach them adavnce potty and fight tactics even though he was a gay and evil and not a womon. I wish I was a womon but I can't afoord it so I am a stupid gay. and for people who are wonder my girlfriend is bisexual so she likes the ida.

"I am Adolf Hitler" Adolf Hitler said "I am the hero of germany or so says my people and I also hate gays if you would belive that, because womon are the master race and gays are stupid fat and week. So I will teach you to fight gays better because womon are prefect and gays art useless because we can makes kids with artificel sprem but if they are a gay we kill them with gas and I mean gas station gas because we make them drink it." "NO" the Lagiocuss said "that's a waste of a kid and gas. at least raise them as slaves. maybe sex slaves or maybe even as burger mine workers" "No!" Adolf Hitler said so the Lagiocuss shot him with lightning and he died the Lagiocuss flew off and went to grenland because he was going on a quest because he was bored. His son went to

When the Lagiocuss and son made it to greenland, he was attacked by Ninja Zombie Turtles. te Lagiocuss waz not hapy and said to them "I hate you all because you eat peoples brains and flesh and organs and make them die and come bak to lyfe to kill more people so you will all die now!" he said while killing them all so they all died. The Lagiocuss flew and went to a city and danced in a nightclub. Just thn he saw the amazing joggi and said hello to him and wished he helped figt the mud dargon because the amazing joggi is the strongest monster on earth even stronger then the Lagiocuss. "I am sorry" the amazing joggi said with sad in voice "but I was at the dr because I was sick with the cold and they cured me forever. Also my wife died and a kid so I helped raise it untill it also died so i was sad and came here to have sex with some perfect womon because i am an evil gay and so I am the most evil thing on earth." The lagiocuss looked at him and said "it is good u admit you have a problem that is te first step our religin feminisam" "I KNOW" yelled the amazing joggi with happy "I have never felt better." just then the mud dragon fell from the sky and landed in the nightclub and killed some gays but no one cared. Then the amazing Joggi killed him with one blink but also killed the Lagiocuss's son then the lagiocuss had sex with 400 womon and broke his record of 250 womon that e ad sex with becuase he is an evil gay and womon are not objects but should be worshoped because they are womon and they love you so you should love them (but not that way unless they want you to because rape isn't verry nice and they are perfect womon so you MUST worshop them or you are just as god as an evil gay unless you are perfect womon I love womon they are perfect however homos are also nice but not perfect because the are nice to perfect womon and I like that) The amazing Joggi ate the mud dargon and flew away at mach 1.5 (which is very fast!)

The Lagiocuss went home and told his wife that their kid died and she was happy because he was sexist and hated womon she learned the when she read his diarie and it said "I hate all Womon because they are perfect and I am stuck being an evil gay so I will kill all womon and be perect starting with my teacher who is pretty sexy and I want her in bed so I will rape and then kill her and then rape her body" "my son was evil and I didn't know?" the Lagiocuss said with mad "it's worse" said the lagiocuss's wife "he also went to a church for evil gays and convertet our neighebers to gayism" "that's horrible!" yelled the lagiocuss just then te mud dargon's son fell from the sky and said "Lagiocuss teach me about perfect womon because I am not like my stupid father who j-walked and was a retarted communist I am not sexist I love womon and also hate evil gays because i bombed a gayism church" "that is great" said the Lagiocuss that will tech them for being sexist and ther hate crimes against womon like rape camp so I am glade they died, so I will leet you join us and help us kill all gays"

to be continued

The amazing Joggi ate the mud dargon and flew away at mach 1.5 (which is very fast!)


	3. The Lagiocuss Dyes

The Lagiocuss Dies!

One day the Lagiocuss was dead and the entire universe was sad. The whole universe frowned and cried and didn't pla Monster Hunter because they were really sad! (even the perfect womon!) most of the univserse went to the Lagiocuss's funeral so they had yo make a new planet that they called planet Lagiocuss. the only person how wasn't sad was sexist people, but their not really poeple because they don't worship perfect womon. The Mud Dargon's daughter was hired buy Capcoom (who is no doubt run by perfect womon) to bring the Lagiocuss back from the dead because they want people to be happy and play more Monster Hunter. The Mud Dargon set out on her quest after going to the Lagiocusses funiral and she was sad and wanted the kagiocuss to come back from teh dead. She firsty went to germany becausre she herd the foutian of youth aws there and she herd that it makes epoppe youn g and studd so she went there ant weny.

In germany there were people and buildings and no foutians because they don't exsit in germany execpt the fountuan of youth but she saw some gayists trying to blow up a femminist church so she went to stop them. "Stop!" the Mud Dargons Daughter yelled "you can't destroy this church!" "Yes we can" said the evil gays "you can't stoops us stupid perfect womon!" so the Mud Dargons daughter said "I don't want to do this but I have to now!" adn killed the evil gays and disarmed the bomb and left. all around her pople said "all hail the perfect womon" and "we love perfect womon" because femminism is the biggest religion on earth now gayism only has 1% of people because it sucks like evil gays. The Mud Dargon's daughter finded the foutian of youth but it couldn't be used to bring lagiovuss back grom the dead because it maded people younf and no resurect them for some reason so the mud dargons daughter was the sad adn cried a little which brought the lagiocuss back from the dead somehow. The Lagiocuss said "Perfect Womon! You will suffer because i died and came bak to like!" the Lagiocuss yelled with mad and angry in coive "I will kill all perfect womon and make all gays perfect and amazing like the amazing joggi." "no Lagiocuss!" the Mud Dargons Daughter said. "ok" the Lagiocuss said to the mud dargon's daughter because she was perfect womon and the lagiocuss was still a good femmenist so he had to obery her because that's the law noe but then the qurropecco came out of nowhere and arrested the mud dargon's daughter and took her to jail in las vegas for being a perfect womon and that's it.

chapter 2: in las vegas

When they made it to los vegas the qurropecco took them to jail and said to his boss that these people broke the law and sould be put to death including the mud dargon's daighter because he is sexist and he hates perfect womon and he wants them all to due. his boss asked him whart law they broke and the qurropecco said the crime of being a stupid perfect womon who everyone hates. the ludrith prince said " I don't hate her, I love and worship her and you're fired and are going to jail and maybe getting 5000 death setances!" "what a bummer!" te qurropecco said with sad and unhappy but also angry and mad but also sad. then they got his dna and killed him. and they did this 4999 times and then he was dead forever. then they shooted him and his dna into the sun so they would never resurect him because they can resurect people

then all the gaysists in the world tried to take over the world and kill all perfect womon! but this doesn't mater because they already own the world it's just a joke. so everyone laughed even the dead people. the evil gays own the world because there a secret one world goverment everyone knows that. and there secet base on the moon under a femmenist church. (which is funny because perfect womon can't go to the moon everyone knows this) and all the gayists farted and womon kkilled them all execvpt ones that didn't because some didn't fart but nows there are .5% of gayist on the planet because nmost are dead. also womon are perfect and I love them and they love me so if you're a gayest pleast repent to perfect womon ok?

Then the Lagiocuss went to the moon to kill the secret one world goverment he learned about it when he was sexist also he read the note I put in his lunchbox. (I didn't write in the story because it would be boring and a sexist might read this amazing story. Anyway he went to t to the moon and the stupid defenseless moronic sexits morons didn't stand and cance and are all dead now. so he went back to earth to worship perfect womon and stuff. But that's not the end of the story right now.) Also I just had sex with my girlfriend and it was great. she was great in bed and I love her because it felt good but cleaning up is a female dog because I had to shove a garden hose up her vagoo and she yelled at me

Then aliens showd up and made people scared and antry and miss work so they all got fired so the economy collapsed and the aliens peanutt butter cookies but everyone was broke because they were fired and had not money so the aliens started killing everyone and everything. so the Lagiocuss killed them all because they were wimppy stewpid aliens and I hate them and there sexistt also I am mad becaise my mom yelled at me I mean who dies she think she is? I am n ot in a good mood with her and also she's getting married and that makes me mad because I like my mom and I want her in bed like in the good old days. but if she's married she wont sleep with me and I like sleeping with mommy.

in the future every one was happy because perfect womon watched over and protected them and made them happy so that's the end of this story and that's it

THE ENDS!


End file.
